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‘I felt helpless and alone’: KidSTART helps new mums struggling to care for their babies

By KidSTART Singapore December 9, 2024

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‘I felt helpless and alone’: KidStart helps new mums struggling to care for their babies

‘I felt helpless and alone’: KidStart helps new mums struggling to care for their babies

Ms Cheryl Sim felt like she had been thrown into the deep end taking care of her baby after she gave birth in October 2022.

She barely saw her husband, who worked two jobs to support the family, and had no one to see her through her post-partum depression, which was triggered when the infant, her first child, cried.

The 38-year-old had the help of her mother-in-law during that stressful first month, but it had been years since the older woman had handled a newborn baby and she sometimes did not know what to do.

Stressed over her low milk supply and sleep-deprived from having to pump breast milk every three hours, Ms Sim’s mental health spiralled.

At baby Elora’s one-month check-up, the doctor was concerned enough to refer Ms Sim to a social worker, who introduced her to the KidStart programme.

The eight-year-old programme supports the development of children in lower-income homes in areas like nutrition and parenting strategies.

“The assurance I got from it really helped in just not letting me feel like I’m helpless and alone in this journey,” Ms Sim said.

“I knew I had ready support behind me, I could just text and ask, I didn’t need to be left hanging.”

A five-year study evaluating families on the KidStart programme from 2017 to 2022, with the aim of assessing its effectiveness and potential for wider adoption, found it to be helpful for both parents and children.

KidStart is a company limited by guarantee under the Ministry of Social and Family Development, and its programme, currently offered in 21 towns, will have nationwide reach in 2025 when the last three towns – Queenstown, Clementi and Jurong East – come on board.

Ms Sim’s KidStart practitioner has been visiting her home every month since January 2023 to check in and address her questions, from the appropriate water temperature for bathing her daughter to what to do when the baby refuses to take the bottle.

KidStart practitioners are trained professionals who are qualified or experienced in early childhood development, social work, counselling, psychology or social services.

The programme’s curriculum consists of six core modules spanning child development, child safety, health and nutrition, quality parent-child interaction and family well-being. Close to 10,000 children have participated in the programme since 2016.

A recent study by the non-profit Centre for Evidence and Implementation (CEI) on a sample of 264 families found that KidStart home visits led to improved parenting, social support and child outcomes.

After 12 months on the KidStart programme, parents were less stressed, perceived themselves to be more competent than before, and had better social support and more positive interactions with their child.

By the age of three, KidStart children also showed improved socio-emotional and daily living skills, and were better able to adapt and socialise than children who were not on the programme.

The 133 families enrolled in KidStart were compared with a controlled group of 131 families not on the programme.

The research team took 10-minute videos of parent-child interactions to assess the levels of affection, responsiveness, encouragement, and teaching.

Ms Sim recounted how when Elora threw a tantrum, she would sometimes shout back, unable to control her emotions.

“I had friends who shared with me they would feel ‘heart pain’ when they saw their kids crying – they actually sympathised with their baby. But for me, it was anxiety triggering.”

Through her KidStart practitioner, she learnt to reframe her thought process when she became agitated by Elora’s tantrums and to take deep breaths to regulate her emotions before she spoke.

“I told myself that I needed to calm down because I want to be a role model for Elora.”

Now, when Elora refuses to put away her toys, Ms Sim sits beside her and waits until both of them are calm before asking the child to put away the toys together with her.

The practitioner also explained to her that babies cry and fuss because they do not know how else to express their needs.

Over time, Ms Sim got better at reading Elora’s cues and can now pick up is she is hungry, tired, or wants something else.

Her KidStart practitioner assured her Elora was hitting her developmental milestones in speech and walking, and her pre-school teachers said she did not throw tantrums in school.

The practitioner also reminded Ms Sim not to neglect herself, and to continue to do things she liked, such as watching dramas or listening to music, on top of caring for her daughter.

The CEI study also found that first-time parents showed more positive parenting behaviour and improved parenting competence after joining KidStart compared with parents who had other children when they joined the programme.

This suggests the importance of reaching families early, from their first-born, said the report.

Where the programme was less effective, however, was with families with moderate to high levels of need. There, caregivers continued to have more symptoms of stress and depression and less positive parenting behaviour. Their children also tended to have poorer behaviour, motor skills, and social-emotional development.

About half of KidStart families have moderate to high needs for support in child development and other family functions, said KidStart chief executive Rahayu Buang.

They include teenage mothers, single mothers, and families with many children and no social support, said Dr Cheryl Seah, director of CEI. Some parents may also be incarcerated or have health issues, she added.

Higher-risk families may require more support such as financial assistance, employment opportunities and stable housing, issues that family coaches under ComLink+ – a government initiative to support lower-income families – or family service centres can help with, said Madam Rahayu.

The Government will expand KidStart home visits to support these children from the mother’s pregnancy till the child turns six. “Our aim is to support 80 per cent of children zero to six years old who are eligible for KidStart,” said Madam Rahayu.

Eligible families have a monthly per capita income of $650 or less.

Ms Sim and her family will be on the programme till Elora is six.

She hopes more families will be open to joining KidStart, especially first-time parents and those who have no family support.

“Everybody will say ‘why don’t you have another kid?’ They think it’s easy to take care of a child. Nobody really emphasises the tough journey, the downsides,” said Ms Sim.

“KidStart really helps me recognise that (parenting) is a very tough thing that is mentally exhausting on parents, and besides focusing on the child’s development, they really do it as a holistic thing for the whole family.”

This article was originally featured in The Straits Times, published Dec 09, 2024.
https://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/i-felt-helpless-and-alone-kidstart-helps-new-mums-struggling-to-care-for-their-babies